Yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus and Christmas came early for me this year. It it a present that I have waited my whole life for. Something that I have prayed about and wished for, but never found until now. My present was my Daddy. And believe it or not, he found me in the cesspool we know as collarme. He is the most perfect man I have ever met. I keep trying to find a flaw in him and fail to locate one. I truly believe that God made him just for me. Just when I gave up in ever finding happiness, ever find "the one" for me, ever finding true love, he walked into my life. And every time we talk, he makes me feel that much more special. He calls me his angel, someone for him to protect and love always, each and every time we talk. I am his little girl who needs her Daddy as much as Daddy needs me. I have to keep pinching myself to make sure that I am not dreaming. A friend of mine told me yesterday to quit pinching myself and just enjoy being loved. I am working on that. ~smile~
I still can't believe that he thought that HE was out of my league. Such a silly Daddy.
Posted by: baby
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
God Has Answered My Prayers
I believe that I have found or he found me, the perfect Daddy for me. Not only is he sexy, charming, funny and adores me, but it is like he found the deepest, darkest place of my brain and is fulfilling my every fantasy. The things he says he wants to do to me and with me, sexually and non-sexually, gives me goosebumps. We have similar thoughts, ideas and dreams. I feel very special with him, at his side where I belong. Thank you God for answering my prayers.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Don't Settle
Find the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat or will stay awake to watch you sleep. Wait for the man that kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are at your worse and not give a fuck! Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who thinks you are just as pretty with out makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says "That's her".
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
The Submissive Woman
When the submissive woman is with a man, she wants to be aware of the man as a man. She wants to be aware of his masculinity, his physical strength, and the fact that he is different from her. She wants to feel respectful towards him. Being aware of his authority, his power, and the control he has over her reminds her that he is not "one of the girls". He may well be her best friend, but he is not a buddy and she doesn't want just another platonic friendship with him. He is the man she loves and reveres, the man in charge, the man who can make her shake and quiver with a mere word or look.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Duty of a True Daddy/Dom
The duty of a true Daddy/Dom is simple to fulfill his girl's deepest, darkest desires. As trust grows, then he can test her limitations, only with her willingness of exploration, not just using her desire to please him. He must think of her as a human being of flesh blood and emotion. He must look after her, care for her, protect her, love her, give her strength, show her she is his, not only in ownership, showing her she is his world. With time, in his company and through play, a love is formed, a deep and lasting one.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
What Every Woman Deserves
Every woman deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it, holds her like he never wants to let her go, doesn't cheat or lie, wipes her tears when she cries, doesn't make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her, is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her and lets her know how much he really loves her.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Monday, December 12, 2011
It sucks to be the one who...
It sucks to be the one who needs, but is not needed; adores, but is not adored; waits, but is not waited for; and loves, but is not loved.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Adult Truths
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Please keep the laughing down to 5 minutes. :D
Posted by: baby
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Please keep the laughing down to 5 minutes. :D
Posted by: baby
Never Give Up
"Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about." -Unknown
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Food For Thought
One way or another, men will always make a woman self-destruct and do irrational things.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Attitude
“Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have—and that is our attitude. Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” -Chuck SwindollAMEN!! So very true. Words to live by. ☺
Posted by: baby
Love
Everyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone really means it. So believe it when you feel it, not when you HEAR it.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Be Thankful
God is working things out for you, even when you don't feel it.
Have faith. Be thankful.
Have faith. Be thankful.
Posted by: baby
Friday, December 9, 2011
Life's Plan
Much of the pain in life comes from having a life plan that you've fallen in love with and when it doesn't work out, you become angry that you now have to pursue a new life plan. If you want to tame your inner demons, you must not become too attached to any particular life plan, and remain open to there being an even better, happier life plan. -Karen SalmansohnSo very true, now if I can only apply that principle to my life. ~sigh~
Posted by: baby
A Woman's Tears
Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. Every tear a woman shed is equivalent of a man's sacrifices in life. The woman came from a man's rib -- not on his feet to be stepped on; not on his head to be superior, but on his side to be equal; under his arms to be protected and near his heart to be loved.
Posted by: baby
Posted by: baby
Positive Inspirational Quotes
Speak with your body, think with your heart and love with your soul.
Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. :)
Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person." -Gerard Way
"It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it only matter that you love." -John Lennon
Never ignore a person that loves you, cares for you and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars...
Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the one we love, and a thousand hours to spend thinking of them. :)
Goodbyes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories, good or bad, will always bring tears and words can never replace those feelings.
Missing someone is your heart's way of reminding you that you love them.
People say you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.
"In life we all lose one thing or the other; might be a job, relationship etc. It's very normal. But don't grieve over your losses. Why? Because God always has a better replacement for them. So whenever you lose something, tell yourself, there's something better waiting for me." -Uwakina Smek Osemeke
Beginning are usually scary and ending are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living.
Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.
Posted by baby
Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. :)
Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person." -Gerard Way
"It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it only matter that you love." -John Lennon
Never ignore a person that loves you, cares for you and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars...
Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the one we love, and a thousand hours to spend thinking of them. :)
Goodbyes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories, good or bad, will always bring tears and words can never replace those feelings.
Missing someone is your heart's way of reminding you that you love them.
People say you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.
"In life we all lose one thing or the other; might be a job, relationship etc. It's very normal. But don't grieve over your losses. Why? Because God always has a better replacement for them. So whenever you lose something, tell yourself, there's something better waiting for me." -Uwakina Smek Osemeke
Beginning are usually scary and ending are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living.
Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.
Posted by baby
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Remember... Life Goes On
You have to take the good with the bad,
Smile when you are sad,
Love what you got and
Remember what you had.
Always forgive, but never forget,
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret,
People change, things go wrong,
Just remember, life goes on.
Smile when you are sad,
Love what you got and
Remember what you had.
Always forgive, but never forget,
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret,
People change, things go wrong,
Just remember, life goes on.
Posted by baby
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Lies We Are Told
I no longer believe in love. It is a mythical emotion that does not exist. I'm sorry to say that it has taken me 48, almost 49, years before I finally gave up that fairy tale of love, being loved and loving someone. It is like happily ever after, another fairy tale. I might as well believe in Santa Claus or a genie in a bottle with the same results. It just doesn't happen. It is a falsehood that children's books and Hollywood movies portray instill in little girls brains to search for it and little boys learn to use it against us so they can use us and discard us in the same way they do a tissue. Just dangle the thought of love in front of a girl, lady, woman and she will spread her legs or kneel down willing in hopes of fulfilling her dreams. That word should be banned from books, movies and everyone's lips.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her from the beginning that there is no such thing as love. Let her know early in life not to believe in fairy tales, not to believe in men's lies. To stand proudly and strong alone in this world and never settle for anything or anyone. For her to stand on her own two feet and never lean on or count on a man. They will never be there when you really need them.
My heart, soul and body belong to me and me alone. No one else can touch it, possess it, or claim it anymore. Nor will I ever try to give it away again.
Posted by baby
If I had a daughter, I would tell her from the beginning that there is no such thing as love. Let her know early in life not to believe in fairy tales, not to believe in men's lies. To stand proudly and strong alone in this world and never settle for anything or anyone. For her to stand on her own two feet and never lean on or count on a man. They will never be there when you really need them.
My heart, soul and body belong to me and me alone. No one else can touch it, possess it, or claim it anymore. Nor will I ever try to give it away again.
Posted by baby
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Huh. Realization
I'm not angry. I'm not upset. I'm not sad. I'm not mad. I'm not hurt.
You know what I am?
I am disappointed that you are exactly who they said you were.
Posted by baby
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tests
Ok, I was pretty bored this morning and
I took some spanking/BDSM tests at http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests.
Thought I would share my results.
The How Should You Be Spanked? Test
The elegant spankability Test
The female submission Test
The Spankophile Test
The How Spankable Are You Test
The submissive type Test
How hard of a spanking can you take? Quiz
The female sub spanking test Test
You need a spanking test
How many people didn't see that coming?
~giggles~
Posted by baby
Thought I would share my results.
The How Should You Be Spanked? Test
You scored 62 Naughty Over the Knee girl yyy
pain slut zzz Dirty Erotic Slut
You Bad Bad Girl!
The elegant spankability Test
The Winner!
You scored 78 elegance and 90 spankability!
An absolutely stunningly high score for spankability, matched with an equally stunning high score for elegance! You have won! Congratulations! You're cooler than the lovechild of, let's see, Bjork and Lord Byron, and more spankable than two dolphins leaning over a gate! Er, that last simile may need some explanation. You see, cetologists have established that a dolphin is essentially a buttock with a tail at one end and a beak at the other. That's why they so often travel in pairs. Scientific fact. But I should also clarify that the author of this test harbors no improper thoughts or desires concerning our ocean-going mammal friends. That would be lower than Gottlob Frick's voice, Aaron Spelling's brow and a televangelist's belly. I'm hot for similes, not cetacea. Just sayin'. So contact me if you like, you winner you, and I'll send you your prize: I believe it's a picture of a fluffy bunny.
The female submission Test
Total slave
You are 85 submissive and 75 into pain!
You are the dream of every master. Totally sub and willing to take at least some pain. Keep on!
The Spankophile Test
You are 85 % a Spankophile
Certified 100% Spanko
You are a true spanking fetishist. You truly love to give or receive a good spanking......or maybe both! You likely have been fascinated by spanking since a very early and began pursuing it with partners as soon as you could. You devote a significant amount of time to your favorite interest and you either are with a spanko partner or looking for one.
The How Spankable Are You Test
SPANK SLUT
You are 93% spankable!
You loved to be spanked, good and hard, with any available object. You will take it as hard as anyone is willing to give it. You are probably guilty of provoking your lover into spanking you, by flagrant misbehavior or verbal challenges. Hell, your ass is probably red right now. We wouldn't be surprised if you are standing at the keyboard, because it hurts to sit down.
The submissive type Test
Submitter
You scored 43% Humiliation, 71% Submissiveness, 50% Service, and 73% Pain!
You're the submitter, what you crave is the feeling of submission, to be in someone else's control, to feel used, you enjoy that feeling a lot you feel better when you're under someone's control, you can forget about your problems, and just be yourself. You don't have a special need for your Dom to enjoy himself although in every relationship you probably want your partner to enjoy his/her time. It's just that it's not more important to you then your own enjoyment. you'll enjoy scening or long term relationships, but you won't enjoy serving someone, unless he orders you around a lot while you do :) You can see by your scores of pain and humiliation whether you want those, from what i know most of your type will like either one of those a lot along with their submissive feeling, but of course the different types of submissives are many and I might be wrong, it might be just that feeling of relinquishing power to someone.
How hard of a spanking can you take? Quiz
The Hardest!!!
Wow! You are a pro spanko!! Good job! You're a model for spanko's everywhere!!! But seriously, you're a tough cookie!
The female sub spanking test Test
83 Variable #1
You need a spanking test
96% Pure! What a Spanko
You scored 96% pure. If you got over 10, you need a good spanking. If you
score under 10, then you need a strict spanking for being such a liar.
How many people didn't see that coming?
~giggles~
Posted by baby
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Never Quit
I will not quit. I will not give in. I will not stop believing. I will hold onto hope until I see the writing on the wall and I haven't seen it, yet. All I see is signs all over telling me to hold on and keep the faith. That is all I can do right now and until then I will never give up and I will never go away.
Posted by baby
Posted by baby
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
Wanting to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families.
Posted by baby
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I Love You
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
A Quick Trip To Oz
Pay no intention to the man behind the curtain, he has no power anymore than the man in front of the curtain. They are both just for show, nothing more. Just a way to keep you holding onto something that isn't real. Don't be fooled and never forget.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Misc. Stuff
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I Am Proud
For so many years I tried to be the perfect person.
Each day I disappoint myself.
Human life isn’t about perfection.
It is about accepting the flawed.
The misguided parts of ourselves.
We keep trying, we keep loving, we keep believing.
I am proud of the role we play in each of our lives.
In maintaining serenity in our selves and in each other.
I am proud to stand beside people whose integrity shines like diamonds in the dust
And I am proud to call myself friends to them.
Each day I disappoint myself.
Human life isn’t about perfection.
It is about accepting the flawed.
The misguided parts of ourselves.
We keep trying, we keep loving, we keep believing.
I am proud of the role we play in each of our lives.
In maintaining serenity in our selves and in each other.
I am proud to stand beside people whose integrity shines like diamonds in the dust
And I am proud to call myself friends to them.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
But I Still Do
but I hear your words.
You may not think of me,
but you invade my thoughts.
You may not see me,
but visions of you surround me.
You may not touch me,
but I feel you.
You may not love me,
but I still do.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Missing Daddy
Sometimes it is really hard going through things without your Daddy. There are times that you don't need things fixed, just need someone to talk to. Days like today are really hard on me. I just need my Daddy to listen to me and then comfort me, like he had in the past so many times. Wish I could still talk to him. ~sigh~
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My Journey Back to Earth
On July 12 I arrived in Colorado to be with my Daddy. It was rough getting there (see My Journey to Heaven), but I finally made it. The first week with Daddy was wonderful. We laughed and joked around, it was like we knew each other for ever. We went to the Garden of the Gods, a Greek festival, out to eat a few times and just enjoyed each others company. I was definitely in heaven.
The following week Daddy started his new job and that's when the beginning of the end started. He would come home moody and wanting to fight over every little thing. I am an emotional eater and I started shoving food in my mouth to try to comfort myself. I believe I gained over 20 pounds.
He went to empty out his storage unit with his, at the time, soon to be ex-wife when their 30 years of marriage slapped them in their faces. They went down memory lane and realized they still had feelings for each other. Not a big surprise to me, I have been telling him that he had for a while now, which he adamantly denied. They decided to try to make a go of their marriage again. He told me that we were over. He dumped me to try to be with his wife. What could I do but be supportive. I do believe in marriage and I do want Daddy to be happy. So I sat on the side lines while he began wooing her again. My heart would break every time I heard him say that he loved her over the phone, but I tried to keep a smile on my face. I searched for an inexpensive plane ticket and found one if I gave them a two week notice. So I sat in his house for 2 weeks, bored out of my skull, waiting to get back home while he wined and dined his wife.
A guy that was in my past contacted me wanting to try things again with me. As much as I wanted to focus on anything but Daddy, I knew that he would only be a rebound guy and I would end up hurting him. I would cut off my own arm before I would hurt someone like that, so I told him that we could only be friends right now. We talked on the phone and chatted online, but kept it light and friendly. My heart, mind and soul was still with Daddy.
Daddy finally told me that he still would like to be my Daddy and that made me feel a little bit better.
After dropping me off at the airport, the pain really started. No matter what he said, it would never be like it was. I would never have him all back. I could only have a part of him, not even a half of him. The trip home was almost as if the Gods didn't want me to leave. I had to go through security three times, the last time I was selected in random to be frisked and searched (that was fun... NOT). We boarded the plane and started to taxi out when they put a delay on all flights going out. So here was a crowded flight with a couple of crying babies, two kids who wouldn't shut up, another kid who said she felt like throwing up, no food nor drink, the air shut off and me hurting so bad all I wanted to do was cry. We text back and forth while I waited for my plane to finally leave for Denver. An hour later we were finally in the air. This airplane that looked and felt like it was put together with spit and glue. Now I have flown in small airplanes before, but this just didn't seem like it was going to hold together. I text Daddy, "Just in case, I love you and will miss you. May all your dreams come true. I just want you to be happy". His reply was that he felt the same way.
Finally arrived in Denver and now I had a 2 hour wait until I boarded another plane for Nashville. All I could do was think about things and what ifs. Daddy sent me a text, "It might sound strange, but I feel like I just watched my daughter leave and never knowing if or when I would ever see her again". I told him that I felt the same way about my Daddy. He said he was still here and I replied with, "It will never be the same". He agreed with a sigh. He told me that he was sad. This finally made me break down and have a small cry. I wanted to go back to him, but knew that I needed to leave. They needed their space to see if they could work without me around.
When I finally got back to my house, I discovered that my nephews had destroyed my room. They wrote all over my bedroom furniture, threw out a lot of things, broke my computer and my house was a disaster. This was not what I needed to see when I was trying very hard to be strong. I broke down and cried for hours. I felt like I had lost everything. Finally after a few hours sleep, I woke up with a new attitude. I was going to redecorate my bedroom, paint the furniture and my walls and my nephews were going to pay for all the material. At least this was going to keep my mind off of Daddy for a while. I also bought a used computer that was better then the one that I had. Thank God for Craigslist.
So this is my story. I don't know if I still have a Daddy when it comes to him. I have not contacted him, only replied to his messages which are scarce. I don't know what I am going to do except keep trying to move forward. I still break down and cry for a few. I don't think that my heart can handle another heart ache, so for now, men are on the back burner. Maybe just play partners in the future.
The following week Daddy started his new job and that's when the beginning of the end started. He would come home moody and wanting to fight over every little thing. I am an emotional eater and I started shoving food in my mouth to try to comfort myself. I believe I gained over 20 pounds.
He went to empty out his storage unit with his, at the time, soon to be ex-wife when their 30 years of marriage slapped them in their faces. They went down memory lane and realized they still had feelings for each other. Not a big surprise to me, I have been telling him that he had for a while now, which he adamantly denied. They decided to try to make a go of their marriage again. He told me that we were over. He dumped me to try to be with his wife. What could I do but be supportive. I do believe in marriage and I do want Daddy to be happy. So I sat on the side lines while he began wooing her again. My heart would break every time I heard him say that he loved her over the phone, but I tried to keep a smile on my face. I searched for an inexpensive plane ticket and found one if I gave them a two week notice. So I sat in his house for 2 weeks, bored out of my skull, waiting to get back home while he wined and dined his wife.
A guy that was in my past contacted me wanting to try things again with me. As much as I wanted to focus on anything but Daddy, I knew that he would only be a rebound guy and I would end up hurting him. I would cut off my own arm before I would hurt someone like that, so I told him that we could only be friends right now. We talked on the phone and chatted online, but kept it light and friendly. My heart, mind and soul was still with Daddy.
Daddy finally told me that he still would like to be my Daddy and that made me feel a little bit better.
After dropping me off at the airport, the pain really started. No matter what he said, it would never be like it was. I would never have him all back. I could only have a part of him, not even a half of him. The trip home was almost as if the Gods didn't want me to leave. I had to go through security three times, the last time I was selected in random to be frisked and searched (that was fun... NOT). We boarded the plane and started to taxi out when they put a delay on all flights going out. So here was a crowded flight with a couple of crying babies, two kids who wouldn't shut up, another kid who said she felt like throwing up, no food nor drink, the air shut off and me hurting so bad all I wanted to do was cry. We text back and forth while I waited for my plane to finally leave for Denver. An hour later we were finally in the air. This airplane that looked and felt like it was put together with spit and glue. Now I have flown in small airplanes before, but this just didn't seem like it was going to hold together. I text Daddy, "Just in case, I love you and will miss you. May all your dreams come true. I just want you to be happy". His reply was that he felt the same way.
Finally arrived in Denver and now I had a 2 hour wait until I boarded another plane for Nashville. All I could do was think about things and what ifs. Daddy sent me a text, "It might sound strange, but I feel like I just watched my daughter leave and never knowing if or when I would ever see her again". I told him that I felt the same way about my Daddy. He said he was still here and I replied with, "It will never be the same". He agreed with a sigh. He told me that he was sad. This finally made me break down and have a small cry. I wanted to go back to him, but knew that I needed to leave. They needed their space to see if they could work without me around.
When I finally got back to my house, I discovered that my nephews had destroyed my room. They wrote all over my bedroom furniture, threw out a lot of things, broke my computer and my house was a disaster. This was not what I needed to see when I was trying very hard to be strong. I broke down and cried for hours. I felt like I had lost everything. Finally after a few hours sleep, I woke up with a new attitude. I was going to redecorate my bedroom, paint the furniture and my walls and my nephews were going to pay for all the material. At least this was going to keep my mind off of Daddy for a while. I also bought a used computer that was better then the one that I had. Thank God for Craigslist.
So this is my story. I don't know if I still have a Daddy when it comes to him. I have not contacted him, only replied to his messages which are scarce. I don't know what I am going to do except keep trying to move forward. I still break down and cry for a few. I don't think that my heart can handle another heart ache, so for now, men are on the back burner. Maybe just play partners in the future.
Friday, July 15, 2011
My Journey to Heaven
On July 12th, 2011, around 3:30 p.m., sassypixie69 (I can never thank her enough) picked me up to take me and my bags stuffed with my life to the airport in Nashville to start my journey to Colorado. I haven’t flown since 1986 and A LOT of things have changed. I knew I would have to go through a security check, but I wasn’t prepared for the long lines. They only had 2 lines opened and about a million people to check. Screaming and crying kids all around me, burning up from the heat and no one to talk to. And this was just the start of my trip towards my Daddy. It was my turn and a security man said something to me that I didn’t catch. I stood still not knowing what to do, trying to get his attention to find out what he said to me. Another security man told me to step forward. When I tried to explain that the other guy said something to me that I didn’t understand, he just waved me off and told me to move forward. I finally got through the security check with very little problems, but it is only 5:00 and I still have an hour and a half before my flight. What to do now? I was carrying a bag that was pretty heavy trying to find something to occupy my mind while I waited to board the plane. I was getting tired from walking around lugging this heavy bag.
I heard the announcement for the boarding of my plane and stood in line again like sheep to the slaughter. When I got on board, I noticed that my assigned seat was in the middle of two other seats. I moved to the window seat and prayed that I wouldn’t be found out. A nice looking younger man moved toward me and began to sit down where I was supposed to sit. I asked him if he minded that I took his seat and he smiled and shook his head no. We had a nice conversation during the flight. He turned out to be a doctor, pediatric doctor to be precise, in the army. He was on leave and was going to see his parents in Denver. He had been up for about 23 hours and was sleep deprived. He was making all kinds of silly jokes about the plane crashing, the pilot being drunk and the cockpit having a dancing pole with women stripping and dancing on it. Since I had flown many times before, he wasn’t scaring me, just making me laugh. We never did exchange names, but I was glad for his company on the plane. There was no “free” food on the flight like they use to do and the only food they had, you could only purchase with a credit card. Now I had purposely withdrew all my funds available from my bank account for cash not knowing that my money wouldn’t be any good for purchasing something to eat. I hadn’t eaten since 10:30 that morning and was getting hungry. So I waited for the free peanuts that never came, instead I got a free cookie and a single glass of Dr. Pepper. Don’t ask for a second glass, they look at you like you were asking them for their first born child.
We finally arrive in Denver where I had a layover to Colorado Springs. It turned out that the flight to Colorado Springs was canceled due to the weather. We were directed to go to customer service to get our flights reassigned. I wish I would have taken a picture of how long the line was for customer service and it wasn’t moving. So there I was at the end of this LONG line, starving, needing to use the bathroom, my feet killing me and dying for a cigarette. I was almost in tears when I called Daddy, whining about all of this. He told me to calm down, find out where my luggage was, have them hold my luggage there and he was on his way to pick me up. Colorado Springs is about 77 miles from Denver. I love my Daddy sooo much. I finally grabbed someone from Frontier Airline that was passing by the long line we all were in to find about my luggage. Simple enough just go to baggage claim and request my luggage. I decided that the bathroom was my first thing to take care of before anything else. Walking about quarter of a football field lugging my heavy carry-on bag and purse, I found one. Finding myself waiting in line once again for an open stall and trying hard not to do the pee-pee dance. My feet were killing me, so I took off my shoes and tied them to my carry-on bag. After that was taking care of, my next stop was looking for something to eat. Thank God for McDonald’s. Found one right in the Denver Airport about a half of a football field. I grabbed my food, found a seat and as I ate looked around to see where I was going next. I saw two different signs to baggage claims pointing in two different directions and my feet still hurt. Another Frontier Airlines employee walked by and I politely asked for directions. She was very sweet, explaining that I must take the train to the baggage claims and the two signs were actually for the same destination, but I should take the one closest to us to save on walking (bless her heart). I took the stairs one flight down. They had an escalator to take you down another farther down, which I tried and really was sorry I did. A bit of advice, NEVER take an escalator when you are bare foot. The next flight down I used the elevator. Only had to wait a moment before the train arrived to take us to our luggage. Had to take another elevator to get to my luggage. Arriving in baggage claims, I could not find anyone to help me call for my luggage. I stood at the desk for about 10 minutes before getting inpatient. I just happened to start looking around and spotted what looked like my luggage. Setting the carry-on bag down, I noticed that one of my shoes was gone. I am so glad that they were just a cheap pair of shoes, so I untied the other shoe and threw it away. Grabbed my two large bags, my carry-on and my purse and headed for outside where I knew that I could smoke a cigarette. Settling in outside with my first cigarette in over 8 hours, trying to stay out of the rain, a man came around and asked the group of us standing outside if we were waiting for private cars to pick us up. We were informed that we needed to go to level 4 or level 6, but we were on level 5 which was ONLY for commercial pick-ups. Again, I was about to cry. Now I am normally not a crier, but this trip was getting on my last nerve. All I wanted to do was be in Daddy’s arms and every time I turned around, something was trying to keep me from being there. I was tired, my feet hurt, my hair was a mess, I was barefoot, looked a terrible and I was actually thinking about turning around and going back to Nashville. The very kind gentleman, who instructed us that we were on the wrong level, saw my pending breakdown and ran and got me a cart to carry all my bags, loaded up the cart and pointed me towards an elevator. Inside the elevator, I debated on level 4 or level 6, both were used for private pickups, I decided on level 4. Getting back outside, I phoned Daddy to tell him that I was outside, with my luggage, waiting for him and he informed me that he was 5 minutes away. About 15 minutes later Daddy called me wanting to know where I was, turned out that I picked the wrong level. Daddy was on level 6 and since it was easier for me to move up two levels then it was for Daddy to go back out of the airport and come back in on the level I was on, I hauled my luggage towards the elevator to go up to meet him. We spotted each other immediately and I fell into his arms, holding onto him for dear life. He hugged me and kissed me and hugged me again. When we finally came up for air, I looked up at him and begged him to take me home. He softly chuckled at me and said, “Of course, baby.” Looking down, Daddy spotted my bare feet, “Where’s your shoes, baby?” I tried to hold back my tears as I explained what had happened to them. He just hugged me again and told me it was okay and that I was safe. That’s all I needed to hear, I knew right then and there that I found my Daddy and he found his baby girl.
We had a nice ride back to the house were he had some wine, ham, cheese and crackers waiting for me. We talked, hugged, kissed, drank and ate for another couple of hours before we both were so tired that all we wanted to do was go to sleep in each other’s arms.
The next day Daddy made me coffee, ordered me (I just love the way he does that) into the shower and to get dressed. We went food shopping and did a few errands before back to the house to talk some more. For the next few days, Daddy showed me around town, went out to eat, redecorate the house a bit, went to the Garden of the Gods, a metaphysical store, a Greek Festival, meet a few of his friends and got to know each other better. I have never felt more loved, more understood or more at home in all my life. Daddy doesn’t try to change me, just loves for who I am, flaws and all. We laugh and joke around a lot and have a lot in common. Though he does make me do things when I am not in the mood, like getting out of the house when all I want to do is take a nap and does punish me when I am being too much of a brat, but I love him even more for pushing me into doing things and punishing me when I am bad.
I am very happy and lucky for finding the right Daddy who is perfect for me in every way. I love you Daddy.
I heard the announcement for the boarding of my plane and stood in line again like sheep to the slaughter. When I got on board, I noticed that my assigned seat was in the middle of two other seats. I moved to the window seat and prayed that I wouldn’t be found out. A nice looking younger man moved toward me and began to sit down where I was supposed to sit. I asked him if he minded that I took his seat and he smiled and shook his head no. We had a nice conversation during the flight. He turned out to be a doctor, pediatric doctor to be precise, in the army. He was on leave and was going to see his parents in Denver. He had been up for about 23 hours and was sleep deprived. He was making all kinds of silly jokes about the plane crashing, the pilot being drunk and the cockpit having a dancing pole with women stripping and dancing on it. Since I had flown many times before, he wasn’t scaring me, just making me laugh. We never did exchange names, but I was glad for his company on the plane. There was no “free” food on the flight like they use to do and the only food they had, you could only purchase with a credit card. Now I had purposely withdrew all my funds available from my bank account for cash not knowing that my money wouldn’t be any good for purchasing something to eat. I hadn’t eaten since 10:30 that morning and was getting hungry. So I waited for the free peanuts that never came, instead I got a free cookie and a single glass of Dr. Pepper. Don’t ask for a second glass, they look at you like you were asking them for their first born child.
We finally arrive in Denver where I had a layover to Colorado Springs. It turned out that the flight to Colorado Springs was canceled due to the weather. We were directed to go to customer service to get our flights reassigned. I wish I would have taken a picture of how long the line was for customer service and it wasn’t moving. So there I was at the end of this LONG line, starving, needing to use the bathroom, my feet killing me and dying for a cigarette. I was almost in tears when I called Daddy, whining about all of this. He told me to calm down, find out where my luggage was, have them hold my luggage there and he was on his way to pick me up. Colorado Springs is about 77 miles from Denver. I love my Daddy sooo much. I finally grabbed someone from Frontier Airline that was passing by the long line we all were in to find about my luggage. Simple enough just go to baggage claim and request my luggage. I decided that the bathroom was my first thing to take care of before anything else. Walking about quarter of a football field lugging my heavy carry-on bag and purse, I found one. Finding myself waiting in line once again for an open stall and trying hard not to do the pee-pee dance. My feet were killing me, so I took off my shoes and tied them to my carry-on bag. After that was taking care of, my next stop was looking for something to eat. Thank God for McDonald’s. Found one right in the Denver Airport about a half of a football field. I grabbed my food, found a seat and as I ate looked around to see where I was going next. I saw two different signs to baggage claims pointing in two different directions and my feet still hurt. Another Frontier Airlines employee walked by and I politely asked for directions. She was very sweet, explaining that I must take the train to the baggage claims and the two signs were actually for the same destination, but I should take the one closest to us to save on walking (bless her heart). I took the stairs one flight down. They had an escalator to take you down another farther down, which I tried and really was sorry I did. A bit of advice, NEVER take an escalator when you are bare foot. The next flight down I used the elevator. Only had to wait a moment before the train arrived to take us to our luggage. Had to take another elevator to get to my luggage. Arriving in baggage claims, I could not find anyone to help me call for my luggage. I stood at the desk for about 10 minutes before getting inpatient. I just happened to start looking around and spotted what looked like my luggage. Setting the carry-on bag down, I noticed that one of my shoes was gone. I am so glad that they were just a cheap pair of shoes, so I untied the other shoe and threw it away. Grabbed my two large bags, my carry-on and my purse and headed for outside where I knew that I could smoke a cigarette. Settling in outside with my first cigarette in over 8 hours, trying to stay out of the rain, a man came around and asked the group of us standing outside if we were waiting for private cars to pick us up. We were informed that we needed to go to level 4 or level 6, but we were on level 5 which was ONLY for commercial pick-ups. Again, I was about to cry. Now I am normally not a crier, but this trip was getting on my last nerve. All I wanted to do was be in Daddy’s arms and every time I turned around, something was trying to keep me from being there. I was tired, my feet hurt, my hair was a mess, I was barefoot, looked a terrible and I was actually thinking about turning around and going back to Nashville. The very kind gentleman, who instructed us that we were on the wrong level, saw my pending breakdown and ran and got me a cart to carry all my bags, loaded up the cart and pointed me towards an elevator. Inside the elevator, I debated on level 4 or level 6, both were used for private pickups, I decided on level 4. Getting back outside, I phoned Daddy to tell him that I was outside, with my luggage, waiting for him and he informed me that he was 5 minutes away. About 15 minutes later Daddy called me wanting to know where I was, turned out that I picked the wrong level. Daddy was on level 6 and since it was easier for me to move up two levels then it was for Daddy to go back out of the airport and come back in on the level I was on, I hauled my luggage towards the elevator to go up to meet him. We spotted each other immediately and I fell into his arms, holding onto him for dear life. He hugged me and kissed me and hugged me again. When we finally came up for air, I looked up at him and begged him to take me home. He softly chuckled at me and said, “Of course, baby.” Looking down, Daddy spotted my bare feet, “Where’s your shoes, baby?” I tried to hold back my tears as I explained what had happened to them. He just hugged me again and told me it was okay and that I was safe. That’s all I needed to hear, I knew right then and there that I found my Daddy and he found his baby girl.
We had a nice ride back to the house were he had some wine, ham, cheese and crackers waiting for me. We talked, hugged, kissed, drank and ate for another couple of hours before we both were so tired that all we wanted to do was go to sleep in each other’s arms.
The next day Daddy made me coffee, ordered me (I just love the way he does that) into the shower and to get dressed. We went food shopping and did a few errands before back to the house to talk some more. For the next few days, Daddy showed me around town, went out to eat, redecorate the house a bit, went to the Garden of the Gods, a metaphysical store, a Greek Festival, meet a few of his friends and got to know each other better. I have never felt more loved, more understood or more at home in all my life. Daddy doesn’t try to change me, just loves for who I am, flaws and all. We laugh and joke around a lot and have a lot in common. Though he does make me do things when I am not in the mood, like getting out of the house when all I want to do is take a nap and does punish me when I am being too much of a brat, but I love him even more for pushing me into doing things and punishing me when I am bad.
I am very happy and lucky for finding the right Daddy who is perfect for me in every way. I love you Daddy.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Just a quick note.
In just 19 days, i will be in the arms of the one I love. Daddy_Beast and i finally set a date for when i am moving to Colorado. July 12th is that day. I have so much to do before then, yet I can't wait. I am so happy. ~huge smiles~
In just 19 days, i will be in the arms of the one I love. Daddy_Beast and i finally set a date for when i am moving to Colorado. July 12th is that day. I have so much to do before then, yet I can't wait. I am so happy. ~huge smiles~
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Daddy_Beast just bought my non refundable ticket. No turning back now. ~smiles~
Can't wait!!!!
Can't wait!!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
For most people Friday the 13th means something terrible is going to happen or a horror movie. To me it means the day that Daddy_Beast official called me “Owned”. To be owned by Him. ~sigh~ What a wonderful feeling, to be owned by the one person that you have wanted since you met him. We have known each other for a year (give or take a few months). And for most of that time, I have called Him Daddy. He has been there for me through all my changes, my walks too close to the edge and my triumphs. He’s never let me fall, always catching me just in the nick of time. He guides me toward the right path.
Daddy knows what makes His pet turn into puddles of baby girl goo.
Daddy knows what makes His pet turn into puddles of baby girl goo.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
This is a venting day for me.
Saturday my touchscreen on my phone went out. It had gone out once before, but started working again after a few hours. I kept waiting for my phone to start working again so that i could get to all my messages. Do you have any idea how frustrating having 46 messages and not knowing who they are from or what was said? I finally broke down and bought another phone that i will be getting either this Saturday or Monday. In the meantime at least i can still answer the phone when it rings.
Not having a vehicle is making me a little stir crazy. Having to rely on other people to take me places and missing out on all the things i have been getting into is so depressing. Not being able to just get up and go places whenever i want. Miss seeing all my old and new friends. And buying a car right now is out of the question as far as financially.
And the final vent for today and the most important. Not being able to be with Daddy right now. This long distance thing can really become quite sexually frustrating. All i can think about is being at Daddy's feet. Being Daddy's pet slut and pain slut is all i want. I know that we will be together before the end of the year, but the wait is killing me.
Saturday my touchscreen on my phone went out. It had gone out once before, but started working again after a few hours. I kept waiting for my phone to start working again so that i could get to all my messages. Do you have any idea how frustrating having 46 messages and not knowing who they are from or what was said? I finally broke down and bought another phone that i will be getting either this Saturday or Monday. In the meantime at least i can still answer the phone when it rings.
Not having a vehicle is making me a little stir crazy. Having to rely on other people to take me places and missing out on all the things i have been getting into is so depressing. Not being able to just get up and go places whenever i want. Miss seeing all my old and new friends. And buying a car right now is out of the question as far as financially.
And the final vent for today and the most important. Not being able to be with Daddy right now. This long distance thing can really become quite sexually frustrating. All i can think about is being at Daddy's feet. Being Daddy's pet slut and pain slut is all i want. I know that we will be together before the end of the year, but the wait is killing me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Best Day of My Life
For all of my friends who have asked or just wanted to know, yes Daddy_Beast (from FetLife.com) is the Daddy i have been writing about these past months. Yes, we are back together and have moved our relationship to another level. No, we haven't changed our political views, but have decided to keep them out of our relationship. And for the record, it wasn't really the different political views that broke us up before, it was my mouth. Apparently calling him names wasn't a good thing, i found out. It wasn't meant to be directed at him, only in general, but Daddy felt that it was. For that i did apologize for and Daddy forgave.
The words 'you are owned!!" coming from Daddy never sounded so sweet. i was smiling so much yesterday that my face hurt yet i couldn't stop (some would say that is the masochist in me). ~smiles~
Daddy has a new nickname for me that just makes me very proud. To be called Daddy's pet has touched my heart in a way only Daddy can. i am proud to be Daddy's baby girl, his pet, his sub.
Thank you Daddy. Love you.
The words 'you are owned!!" coming from Daddy never sounded so sweet. i was smiling so much yesterday that my face hurt yet i couldn't stop (some would say that is the masochist in me). ~smiles~
Daddy has a new nickname for me that just makes me very proud. To be called Daddy's pet has touched my heart in a way only Daddy can. i am proud to be Daddy's baby girl, his pet, his sub.
Thank you Daddy. Love you.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I know i am not into the whole age-play, but today i really feeling little. Just want to crawl into someone's lap and be held. No, i am not sad or depressed, just want to feel someone's arms around me and have them explore my body. ~sigh~
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
I am feeling pretty good today. I feel centered and stronger today then i have in a long time. I am enjoying life again. I plan on staying in this frame of mind for a very long time.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Really missing daddy today. It has been 5 days since we got into our fight, last spoke and i feel so lost. No one to talk to, to tell my problems to, to tell me it will be OK, to just bring me out of this depression/sadness. I didn't think that his releasing me this time would bring so much pain. I thought i would be OK without him. I really need daddy in my life.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Your Voice
I hear your deep voice in my sleep, I hear your words whispered to me, I feel you bringing me to the edge of an orgasm and wickedly you tell me not to cum yet. I hear you laugh softly at my whimpers and begging to cum and you saying “not yet, baby”. I deny myself of pleasure for you. I finally hear you say those magical words, "cum for me, baby" as I release myself, let myself go to please you. I no longer can cum without replaying that in my mind, yet you are not here to receive.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Good news and bad news. My Daddy and i had gotten back together. With things even better than ever. He was still against the poly thing and the club, for reasons of not being able to keep me safe, but was willing to be with me just the same. Then today we discovered something about each other. Our different views of politics. Something that i was willing to over look and he wanted to throw us out with the bathwater. So it is officially over once again. I do not see us getting past this. I will miss him and it does hurt, i am not going to lie, but neither one of us is willing to change our views.
And the hits keep coming. I knew i read somewhere that i should stay in bed this week. Should have listened to that horoscope. Live and learn. ~sigh~
And the hits keep coming. I knew i read somewhere that i should stay in bed this week. Should have listened to that horoscope. Live and learn. ~sigh~
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Yesterday was the one of the worst days in my life. Right up there with losing my mom and then my stepfather disowning me. Yesterday my Daddy/Dom released me. The poly world that I have been exploring these last few weeks have been too much for him. He could handle the boy toys and me going to the munches, but the club and the poly were more than he could handle. I guess the long distant thing were he couldn't keep me safe was driving him crazy. I cried, begged, yelled, promised to no avail. But then I remembered something that I had forgotten... Daddys always leave.
I needed to be held, cuddled, told it would be alright, what I received was some good sex. Not the same and didn't really help a lot. Today I just feel worse. My tears fill my eyes making it hard to see, staining my face as they run down my cheeks. Feeling alone again in the big, bad world with no one to guide me. Feeling lost.
I needed to be held, cuddled, told it would be alright, what I received was some good sex. Not the same and didn't really help a lot. Today I just feel worse. My tears fill my eyes making it hard to see, staining my face as they run down my cheeks. Feeling alone again in the big, bad world with no one to guide me. Feeling lost.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
A little over 7 months ago i found the perfect man for me (or rather he found me). Just the right amount of dominate mixed with a sense of humor, patience, kindness and kink to keep me on my toes. He is the only man that i know who can stop me in my tracks with just two small words. He has saved me from myself more times that i can count. He pushes me to be a better person in a way that i don't realize it until i am already there. He makes me unbelievably horny and excited, every single day. He loves to surprises me. I trust him. I know he has my best interests at heart. He is handsome and sexy with a very sexy voice. He and I both like music and laughing. He is smart and creative. He and I fit in terms of kinks and things that turn us on. He is patient when I’m upset and will let me be cry if I need to. He is sadistic but also a cuddle slut like myself. He helps me be brave. He is definitely a Daddy…. Other little girls and Daddies will know what I mean when I say that… ;) and knows how to treat His little girl.
So what is the problem? He lives 4 states away. He isn't here when I need his arms to wrap around me, his shoulder when i need to cry, his hand when i need punishing, his dick when i am horny. He knows i am only human and have needs. He talks me through the feeling of guilty when i am with someone else. He holds me tight enough to let me fall, but loose enough to find happiness elsewhere if that is what i want. He knows i struggle with this everyday. He just wants me to be happy. Unfortunately the one thing that would make this girl happy isn't possible at the present moment. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
Just rambling thoughts.
So what is the problem? He lives 4 states away. He isn't here when I need his arms to wrap around me, his shoulder when i need to cry, his hand when i need punishing, his dick when i am horny. He knows i am only human and have needs. He talks me through the feeling of guilty when i am with someone else. He holds me tight enough to let me fall, but loose enough to find happiness elsewhere if that is what i want. He knows i struggle with this everyday. He just wants me to be happy. Unfortunately the one thing that would make this girl happy isn't possible at the present moment. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
Just rambling thoughts.
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