Yesterday was the one of the worst days in my life. Right up there with losing my mom and then my stepfather disowning me. Yesterday my Daddy/Dom released me. The poly world that I have been exploring these last few weeks have been too much for him. He could handle the boy toys and me going to the munches, but the club and the poly were more than he could handle. I guess the long distant thing were he couldn't keep me safe was driving him crazy. I cried, begged, yelled, promised to no avail. But then I remembered something that I had forgotten... Daddys always leave.
I needed to be held, cuddled, told it would be alright, what I received was some good sex. Not the same and didn't really help a lot. Today I just feel worse. My tears fill my eyes making it hard to see, staining my face as they run down my cheeks. Feeling alone again in the big, bad world with no one to guide me. Feeling lost.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
A little over 7 months ago i found the perfect man for me (or rather he found me). Just the right amount of dominate mixed with a sense of humor, patience, kindness and kink to keep me on my toes. He is the only man that i know who can stop me in my tracks with just two small words. He has saved me from myself more times that i can count. He pushes me to be a better person in a way that i don't realize it until i am already there. He makes me unbelievably horny and excited, every single day. He loves to surprises me. I trust him. I know he has my best interests at heart. He is handsome and sexy with a very sexy voice. He and I both like music and laughing. He is smart and creative. He and I fit in terms of kinks and things that turn us on. He is patient when I’m upset and will let me be cry if I need to. He is sadistic but also a cuddle slut like myself. He helps me be brave. He is definitely a Daddy…. Other little girls and Daddies will know what I mean when I say that… ;) and knows how to treat His little girl.
So what is the problem? He lives 4 states away. He isn't here when I need his arms to wrap around me, his shoulder when i need to cry, his hand when i need punishing, his dick when i am horny. He knows i am only human and have needs. He talks me through the feeling of guilty when i am with someone else. He holds me tight enough to let me fall, but loose enough to find happiness elsewhere if that is what i want. He knows i struggle with this everyday. He just wants me to be happy. Unfortunately the one thing that would make this girl happy isn't possible at the present moment. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
Just rambling thoughts.
So what is the problem? He lives 4 states away. He isn't here when I need his arms to wrap around me, his shoulder when i need to cry, his hand when i need punishing, his dick when i am horny. He knows i am only human and have needs. He talks me through the feeling of guilty when i am with someone else. He holds me tight enough to let me fall, but loose enough to find happiness elsewhere if that is what i want. He knows i struggle with this everyday. He just wants me to be happy. Unfortunately the one thing that would make this girl happy isn't possible at the present moment. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
Just rambling thoughts.
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